Monday, March 3, 2008
THE NEW CEO
If you've ever worked for a boss that reacts before getting all the facts and thinking things through, you'll love this………………..
A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was hell bent on ridding the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facility, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.
The room was full of workers, and he wanted to let them know he meant business!!! He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked "How much money do you make a week"???
A little surprised, the young man looked at him at replied "I make $400 a week. Why"????
The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed "Here's four weeks pay - now GET OUT and don’t come back!!!"
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did around here"????
From across the room came a voice:
"Pizza delivery guy".
A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was hell bent on ridding the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facility, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.
The room was full of workers, and he wanted to let them know he meant business!!! He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked "How much money do you make a week"???
A little surprised, the young man looked at him at replied "I make $400 a week. Why"????
The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed "Here's four weeks pay - now GET OUT and don’t come back!!!"
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did around here"????
From across the room came a voice:
"Pizza delivery guy".
How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
JUST TOO CUTE.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find herhusband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?"She asked.
"Hunting Flies"He responded.
"Oh. ! Killing any?"She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked."How can you tell them apart?"
He responded,"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find herhusband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?"She asked.
"Hunting Flies"He responded.
"Oh. ! Killing any?"She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked."How can you tell them apart?"
He responded,"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.
The human body is a machine
The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why in the heck we were designed the way we were.
-Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.
-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the small est is the male sperm.
-You use 200 muscles to take one step.
-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
-A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
-A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much infor mation as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair. -At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
-There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
-Your thumb is the same length as your nose.
At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test...now remove your thumb from your nose and pass this on to the friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well
-Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.
-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the small est is the male sperm.
-You use 200 muscles to take one step.
-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
-A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
-A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much infor mation as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair. -At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
-There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
-Your thumb is the same length as your nose.
At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test...now remove your thumb from your nose and pass this on to the friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well
Robin Williams' plan
Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says "I love New York " in Arabic.
Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.
Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)
"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."
1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and t he rest of those "good 'ole' boys", we will never "interfere" again.
2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East , and the Philippines . They don't want us there. We would station our troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.
3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it in your country change it yourself and don't try to hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-1 1 cashiers.
5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes,or they get a "D" it's back home baby.
6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of their wells filling up their storage sites would be enough.)
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. ! Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The peop le who need it most get very little, if anything.
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.
The Language we speak is ENGLISH..learn it...or LEAVE...
Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "
If you agree with the above forward it to friends...If not, and I would be amazed, DELETE it!!
Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.
Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)
"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."
1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and t he rest of those "good 'ole' boys", we will never "interfere" again.
2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East , and the Philippines . They don't want us there. We would station our troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.
3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it in your country change it yourself and don't try to hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-1 1 cashiers.
5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes,or they get a "D" it's back home baby.
6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of their wells filling up their storage sites would be enough.)
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. ! Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The peop le who need it most get very little, if anything.
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.
The Language we speak is ENGLISH..learn it...or LEAVE...
Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "
If you agree with the above forward it to friends...If not, and I would be amazed, DELETE it!!
Easter Information
Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March 20). This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Hebrew people used to identify passover, which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar.
Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22) but that is pretty rare.
Here's the interesting info. This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!). And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier!
Here's the facts:
1) The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you're 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).
2) The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!
Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22) but that is pretty rare.
Here's the interesting info. This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!). And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier!
Here's the facts:
1) The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you're 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).
2) The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!
I AM NOT ASHAMED TO PASS THIS ON!!
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION,UNDER GOD,INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTYAND JUSTICE FOR ALL!
(Although the names don't show, this has been sent to thousands of people, I hope you all agree to forward it to your friends) It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God.
I AM NOT ASHAMED TO PASS THIS ON!! I AM PROUD TO BE ONE OF THE 86%!!!
Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having 'In God! We Trust' on our money and having 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance.I believe it's time we stand up for what we believe! If you agre e, pass this on, if not delete. I AGREE!!!! PLEASE KEEP THIS GOING,
If I Die Before You Wake
This soldier video is new and different. It is moving and heartwarming. Enjoy and pass it on! Three soldiers wrote the song and put this together in their 'free time' over there. The Singer needs a Recording Contract when He comes Home!
http://www.flashdemo.net/gallery/wake/index.htm
If I die before you wake...
Back home now I know you're probably sleepin'
Over here it's the middle of the day
I finally found the time to write a letter
Sittin' here a half a world away
I heard about all them folks protestin'
As if I really want this war
But that don't stop me from believin'
There's just some things worth fightin' for
CHORUS
And if I die before you wake, I pray the world will take A good look at what God's given us That we could only understand, everything is in his handsAll we need is a little faith and trust I want you to know it ain't too high a price to pay If I die before you wake
Tell everybody that I miss them And I can't wait to get back homeBut until then I'll serve my country And be proud to wear this uniform
CHORUS
No it ain't too high a price to pay
If I die before you wake
http://www.flashdemo.net/gallery/wake/index.htm
If I die before you wake...
Back home now I know you're probably sleepin'
Over here it's the middle of the day
I finally found the time to write a letter
Sittin' here a half a world away
I heard about all them folks protestin'
As if I really want this war
But that don't stop me from believin'
There's just some things worth fightin' for
CHORUS
And if I die before you wake, I pray the world will take A good look at what God's given us That we could only understand, everything is in his handsAll we need is a little faith and trust I want you to know it ain't too high a price to pay If I die before you wake
Tell everybody that I miss them And I can't wait to get back homeBut until then I'll serve my country And be proud to wear this uniform
CHORUS
No it ain't too high a price to pay
If I die before you wake
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